The Exorcists go Clubbing
by Count Crackula
Summary: The exorcists go clubbing! That's all you need to know. Yullen and Lucky inside.
1. Truth or Dare

It was midmorning and the last thing Kanda needed was a hyperactive bunny boy running up to him. But that was exactly what happened.

"Hey, Yu-chan, Yu-chan! Guess what, guess what?"

Kanda replied with a "Che." Then he said, "What do you want, baka-usagi?"

"Hold on. I'll tell you along with Allen and Lenalee."

"Then what was the point of you bugging me?"

"Dunno. I just wanted to."

"Next time you do that, I will fucking kill you," the raven-haired man said as he was withdrawing Mugen. The one eyed boy didn't hear the rest of Kanda's threat, for he was already a good thirty yards away from him.

-

"Okay guys! Guess what! I just got VIP passes to an exclusive club! And all of you are coming with me!"

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THE GOOD SOBA IN THE WORLD WOULD POSSESS ME TO DO THAT?!" the raven-haired man yelled. Both Allen and Lenalee thought it would be fun.

"Well, if Moyashi's going there's no way I will."

"MY NAME IS ALLEN!"

"Whatever."

-

After much pestering, shouting and threatening, Kanda finally agreed to go. Lavi was wearing what he usually wore under his exorcist coat. Kanda was wearing a plain t-shirt under a leather jacket with a cross on the sleeve. Allen was wearing something similar and Lenalee wore a little black dress with Christian Loubiton heels. She almost couldn't go because Komui has overprotective brother complex.

When they arrived at the nightclub, they all had to show their IDs and driver's licenses. Then they went inside.

It was dark with an annoying strobe light in the background. The bass was so loud, the walls were throbbing and they looked like they were about to fall down. The foursome walked over to the bar to get a round of shots or tequila. He came back minutes later with a plate filled with the tiny shot glasses. Lenalee was ordering a strawberry daiquiri. That left Kanda and Allen standing together.

"I honestly have no idea what happens to attract Lavi to seedy, trashy places like this."

"Maybe it's all the girls that are dancing like whores and sluts," said the white haired fiteen year old.

After Lenalee came back, the group went to go find a place to go sit down. They troved up to the balcony seats.

"OMG! Why are you guys so bored? Just look at all the honeys in this club! I know! Let's play truth or dare!" Lavi yelled into the ear of Allen. Once again, Kanda was dragged into something he didn't want to do.

"O-kay! Let's start with Allen!" said bunny boy.

Um…okay," the fifteen year old said timidly.

"Allen. TRUTH OR DARE!"

"Truth."

"Okay….are you a lip virgin?"

"Umm, yeah, I am." Everybody looked at the white-haired boy in shock.

"Really, Allen? I didn't know that." Next it was Lavi's turn.

"Okay, Lavi," said Allen. "Truth or dare."

"DARE!"

"Okay. I dare you to climb up on that stripper pole and start stripping." Lavi was shocked.

"Allen, I thought your heart was pure and innocent! Why would you do this to me?"

"You asked me if I was a lip virgin. That was embarrassing! So," Allen said, "Off you go, bunny-chan!"

Lavi stormed off. He climbed up on the pole and started spinning. As this was happening, they started to play Right Round by Flo Rida.

"You spin my head right round, right round, when you go down, when you down, down."

That's when everybody thought that Lavi had had one shot too many. He started to take off his shirt. The only one who was watching this monstrosity was Lenalee. After that happened, Lavi walked back calmly and sat down.

"Now it's Yuu-chan's turn! Truth or dare, Yuu-chan!"

"I don't want to play."

"Aww, Yuu-chan, don't be such a sourpuss! Lenalee's nto playing either, so we need you!"

"You need to stop being suck a lascivious pervert."

"But Yuu…"

"Fine! I'll play!"

"Okay! Truth or dare!" Lavi asked.

"Ooo-kay. I dare you to…kiss Allen-chan!"

"What?"

"What?" said Allen.

"Hey!" A dare is a dare. You have to do it! Allen felt the lightest brush against his lips. In the heat of the moment, Allen opened his mouth a little bit and Kanda thrust his tongue in. The battle for dominance began.

Lavi let out a wolf whistle as their kiss deepened. Slowly but surely, Kanda's tongue dominated. Finally, the need for air became more important than their kiss. When they pulled apart, only a thin thread of saliva was still connecting their lips.

Allen was clearly flustered. He kept stuttering, "W-w-what? What just happened? Why?"

"Wow, Moyashi. I never knew that you would become so flustered with just one kiss," said Kanda.

"Wow, Yuu-chan! Are you gay? I didn't know you swung that way! I might be tempted to kiss you now," Lavi teased.

"No. I'm not gay, nor will I ever be. And I will NEVER let you kiss me."

"God, Yuu-chan, you don't have to be so mean! Anyways- the next question is for Allen-kun, truth or dare!"

"Okay. Truth."

"WOOT! Truth it is! Is it true that you have…" Lavi paused for a brief moment. "Is it true that you are a virgin?"

"Umm…once again, the answer is yes. You ask the most embarrassing questions," said the virgin-boy. "There is my answer. Now, Lavi…truth or dare!"

"Dare."

"I dare you to make out with Tyki Mikk! I think I see him over there!"

"HELLZ NO, BIZNITCH!"

"Lavi! A dare is a dare. You have to do it! I made out with Yuu-chan!"

"But…!"

"Now!"

"OMFG! Fine!" shouted the red-haired boy as he walked up to Tyki.

"Heeeey Tyki. Wanna make out?" asked the bunny boy innocently.

"Hmmm? I couldn't hear you over the loud bass," replied Tyki.

"I said, do you wanna go make out?" Lavi asked.

"OH GOD YES!" the man replied. Everybody knew that ever since the two of them met, Tyki wanted Lavi. He WANTED him. He would even stoop so low as to stalk Lavi. Lavi and Tyki walked out to a corner and started to make out. About a half-hour later, Lavi came back, looking quite disheveled.

"Oh my God! Thank you, Allen! I'd kiss you right now, but my libs are a bit swollen." This made everybody at the table snicker.

"What? That man can kiss like no other! I am officially gay now!"

"Wow," said the three.

"Well, I say we take a short break and all get drunk~ Then our game will resume."

"Yeah!"

-

After about seventeen beers later, the game started up again.

"O-kay, guys!" Lavi slurred. "It's time for round two! Kanda, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Okay. Is it true that you're gay?"

"No. I'm asexual. I don't like guys or girls."

"Aw, too bad. Next it's Allen's turn. Okay, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Is it true that you felt euphoric and warm inside when Yuu-chan kissed you?"

Allen hung his head and mumbled, "Yes."

Allen didn't know that at the time the question was asked, Kanda was thinking. He was thinking about the Moyashi's lips, about how soft and smooth they were. Kanda licked his lips. He could taste the bean sprout. And guess what?

He was delicious.

--

A/N: Please review or I'm a find you!


	2. Tyki's Involvement

Lenalee left the club earlier and so it was the three exorcists left. It was Kanda's turn to be asked a question.

"Okay, Kanda, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Is it true that you want to screw the Moyashi?" Kanda paused to think. The minute later he gave his answer.

"Yes."

Even though he was drunk, Kanda could still think straight. He held his liquor very well. He was thinking that he would ask the Moyashi a dare. "Hey Moyashi," said the raven haired man. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," hiccupped Allen.

"Fine. I dare you to be mine tonight." Allen was clearly blushing.

"Wh-what?"

Kanda leaned in towards Allen and whispered in his ear, "Tonight you will be mine." Allen's blush never faded throughout the whole time they were at the club.

-

"Well," Allen said. "I'm going to get more drinks."

"No. I should go. You're underage, remember, Moyashi," Lavi said.

"Fine. Get tequila. A lot of it. Please?" the younger boy pleaded.

"Okay Allen-chan!"

As Lavi left their VIP section, this left Kanda and Allen alone together.

ALONE. TOGETHER.

Kanda stalked over to the British boy.

"Hey, Moyashi."

"Hn."

"Come here. I wanna tell you something."

"Uhh…okay." The white-haired boy walked over to Kanda.

"What?"

Kanda was kissing him. Kanda kissed his lips as if he were a hungry man. Kanda's lips begged for Allen's to open slightly. Allen obliged, only to have Kanda's tongue thrust in. Kanda's tongue explored the cavern, every inch of it. Allen moaned.

Kanda whispered, "Ooh, you like that, Moyashi? Then how about this?" Kanda began kissing down Allen's neck. Allen groaned with pleasure.

"Nnngh!" Once again they had to stop for two reasons. The first was that they needed to breathe, and the second was that Lavi was coming back up the stairs to the balcony seats.

-

They quickly sat down. Allen's flush returned, making his hair look even brighter than before.

"Why? Why did you do that, Bakanda?"

"Why? I did it because I wanted to. Because I could. That's why, Moyashi. I want you." Allen turned even redder, if that was even possible.

"Hey guys! I'm back!" Lavi shouted, ruining the moment. "Let's play truth or dare again!"

"Okay!" the two others agreed.

"Okay. Kanda, truth or dare."

"Dare."

"I dare you to make out with the Moyashi again, but make it more passionate and soulful."

"I'm not sure that is possible, Lavi," the British boy interjected. Kanda's lips were upon him once again. Kanda's hands were on his back, pulling him closer. Allen opened his mouth and, once again, the battle for dominance began, and once again Kanda's tongue won. Allen's hand was in Kanda's hair, twining strands on his fingers. Allen moaned. The ecstasy of the kiss was almost too much for the young boy to handle. Meanwhile, Lavi was having a nosebleed. When the kiss finally broke, they could only see Lavi wiping up his nose with a cocktail napkin.

"Lavi? What the hell happened to you?" the white-haired fifteen year old asked.

"Oh? What's the matter with me? What's the matter with you? I mean, come on. What was up with that kiss?"

"Well, _you're _the one who said you wanted it be more passionate and soulful than our last kiss, and it was. Just barely, though."

"Wha? You guys kissed while I was gone? And I missed it?"

"Yeah, you did. Anyways, Lavi, truth or dare."

"Dare."

"Fine. I dare you to kiss Tyki again, but waaaay more passionate and sensual."

"Fine." Once again, Lavi left the table. He walked up to the Noah and said, "Come with me, baby." Tyki obediently followed. They went towards the corner and Tyki apparently won the dominance battle. Lavi wrapped his arms around the Noah's neck. Tyki wound his arms around the exorcists petite waist. The red haired boy was begging for more. Tyki shocked him by grabbing his ass. Then a shocked Lavi opened his mouth and the Noah thrust his tongue in. Lavi was becoming weak in his knees. It was at the point were Tyki had to push Lavi towards a wall to support the boy. After a while, their kiss was finally over and Lavi came over.

"What's the matter with Lavi?" Kanda queried. "You're acting like a love-struck fool."

"Hmm…" Lavi just sighed. "Oh, by the way, Allen…"

"Hmm?"

"Truth or dare."

"Dare."

"Fine. I dare you to let Kanda take away your virginity AND let him be the seme."

"Uhh…okay, but only if Kanda agrees to it. Do you agree, Kanda?"

"Yes, I do, Moyashi. I will never be the uke. Never."

"Well, Allen, where will you and Kanda do this…thing?"

"I don't know."

"Well, figure it out!"

-

About an hour later, Lavi went to get more shots of tequila. Actually, he went to go make out with Tyki in the bathroom. Allen and Kanda knew this because Tyki met up with Lavi at the bottom of the staircase.

"Well, Moyashi, ready to start this thing?"

"Wha?" Allen never had a chance to say anything after that because Kanda pulled him over to the couch. Kanda pushed Allen's back into the couch's pillow. Then they heard a scream coming from the bathroom. The MEN'S bathroom where Tyki and Lavi were. While Kanda was straddling Allen, Kanda being the seme, was on top, he saw a red mop of hair come flying towards him, with Tyki at the rear.

Kanda ignored this and went back to Allen.

"Now where were we, Moyashi-chan?" Kanda trailed off sexily. "Oh, yes. I remember now." Kanda was kissing all the way down his neck and was toying with him as if he were a little doll just for his amusement. Then they heard the voices. The voices of Jasdero and Debito.

"CROSS PUPIL! WHERE ARE YOU?" they yelled.

"Oh, shit!" said Allen. "If they find me, they'll take me and make me pay for Cross's debts!"

"WE KNOW YOU'RE HERE, ALLEN!"

Luckily, they found a door. A broom closet to be exact. The kind of place that Jasdebi would NEVER look in.

"Well, Moyashi, I guess we'll just have to hide in the closet."

"Th-the closet?"

"Yes. And when they leave, I'll continue our…activity," Kanda replied with a smirk on his face.

"Well…Into the closet!"

* * *

A/N: Here's chapter two! Please read, review, and favorite!


	3. The Closet

The closet was dark, clean, and poorly lit. Still, they crammed into a corner. Allen was winding a strand of Kanda's hair around his finger. He asked, "Kanda…?"

"Mm?"

"How long did it take you to grow out your hair?"

"About…seven years," said the eighteen year old.

"Really? Your hair grows pretty fast, then."

"Whatever. Enough with this petty talk." Allen was quiet for a moment.

"Hey, Bakanda?"

"Yes?"

"Do you want to make out?" By the time Allen's question was out Kanda had already leaned over and his mouth was on Allen's. This time Allen was the hungry man begging for more. They broke apart and Allen told Kanda in an imitation of Lavi, "I dare you to make this kiss more passionate and soulful than the last."

"Gladly," was Kanda's reply. He came back over and kissed Allen again. This time Kanda's lips were light upon Allen's, and they were soft like rose petals. Kanda put his hand behind Allen's head and pulled him forward deeper into the kiss.

-

"Well, I guess that Allen's not here," said the blonde Noah to Debito.

"I guess he's not. Well, let's go home."

"Okay!" After they left the club, Lavi and Tyki went upstairs to find Kanda and Allen. And that's how they found them: In a heated make-out session.

-

"Wow. I have an idea! Let's play a new game!"

"Lavi! We still have to finish our old game! It was your's and Tyki's turn!"

"Fine. But we will play my game later."

"Okay, Tyki. Truth or dare?"

"Dare," the Noah said eloquently.

"Okay. I dare you to go and take Lavi's virginity."

"My pleasure," the Noah said. Lavi just sat there, stunned.

-

A few minutes later, after Lavi recovered from him shock, Lavi told the group, "Let's play seven minutes in heaven! It'll be fun!" The group was all in agreement.

"Okay, first it will be Tyki and Lavi. Then Kanda and I will go," the white-haired boy stated.

"Fine."

"Well, go in the closet and Kanda and I will wait for seven minutes. Then we'll tell you guys to come out." Tyki and Lavi made their way over to the closet and Tyki opened the door and said, "After you, uke."

Lavi stormed off into the closet. Tyki closed the door after he went in. Seven minutes later, Allen walked over to the door, knocked on it, and said, "Hey, guys! Your seven minutes are up! Get out." About ten minutes later, Lavi and Tyki came out. Lavi was blushing furiously and Tyki was adjusting his clothing.

"Well, little exorcist. Your dare has been fulfilled." This scared Allen and made him wonder what else the Noah could do in seven minutes.

-

Meanwhile, while Tyki and Lavi were in the closet, they continued their…session. Kanda's lips were shockingly soft. Allen's hands were on Kanda's neck and thigh. One of Kanda's hands was groping at Allen's back and the other was on the back of the couch for support. Finally, Kanda looked at his watch and said, "Well, Moyashi. It's time for Tyki and Lavi to come out of the closet."

"Aww! But I wanted to finish."

"We'll finish while were in the closet." Allen blushed at that. Kanda's face pinkened a shade. Allen walked over to the closet door and knocked on it. He hesitated and then he said, "Come on, guys! It's our turn now!"

-

After Lavi and Tyki left the closet, Kanda and Allen walked in. The closet was painted a red color, almost like scarlet.

"Moyashi, shall we continue?" Allen just nodded. He took off his jacket while Kanda did the same. Kanda closed the minimal space between them.

"Moyashi," he said. "We have only seven minutes in here. Make this worth my while."

"Okay."

Then Allen went over to Kanda and kissed him. Kanda was taken aback. He opened his mouth. This time the tables were turned and Allen shoved his tongue into the elder's mouth. He explored Kanda's mouth and rubbed his tongue up against the roof of Kanda's mouth. Kanda shuddered. That just made Allen do it again. Allen smirked.

Luckily, the closet door locked from the inside.

* * *

A/N: Here it is, the last chapter. At least, it's probably the last. Read and review!


	4. The End of The End

Alright, people. I'm tired of writing this, so this fic is over. I have no inspiration and I want to read a lemon right now. Thank you for the reviews and I might write another fanfiction. Sorry if you're dissapointed, but that's how I roll.  
Hakufangirl1, out.

In the end they screw each other and Jasdebi breaks down the door! Then no one ever looks at Allen or Kanda the same way again. As for the Lucky scene...um...they elope. Not really. In my mind.

MIKUZU HELPED TYPE THIS PSYCHO-NESS! SHE HAS A YULLEN! MWAHAHAHA! CHECK IT OUT!

It's subliminal messaging. Deal with it.  
Lexi, out, once more.

Mikuzu: It's not subliminal messaging. It's just corporate advertising.

BAI. 


End file.
